tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2009-11-11:/MokoFeed2009-11-11T23:10:16+01:00tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-04-21:/2006/04/21/1_oh_happy_day~745326/PSRedford2006-04-21T17:55:52+02:002006-04-21T17:55:52+02:00 <p>I took my final chemo tablets this am and had my last chemo injection late am. The nurse was lovely and wished me well. No trouble finding a vein and now my poor old veins can have a little rest from all the prodding and poking of the last 9 months. Nine months! What a helluva 9 months it has been but I've survived so far and I'm here to tell the tale. I do feel that this experience has had a life changing impact upon me and while to all intents and purposes I hope that 'normal life' will resume as soon as possible in many ways life will never quite be the same again! I will never take anything for granted, I will not sweat the small stuff and I will be forever grateful to family and friends who have supported me and I hope that if anyone else finds themselves in a similar position I will be around to support them. Who knows what lays ahead for any of us in life, all we can do is make the very best of what we've got, support each other when we can and leave a good footprint behind when we've gone. Love and best wishes to you all. Here endeth the blog!!!! CARPE DIEM Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/04/21/1_oh_happy_day~745326/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-04-07:/2006/04/07/2~710883/PSRedford2006-04-07T20:45:47+02:002006-04-07T20:45:47+02:00 <p>What a relief, I have just started my last chemo cycle, with 'neuts' over 2! I will now take chemo tablets for 14days and my last injection will be on the 21st April. It should have been 14th April but the young Asian nurse, injecting me today, sarcastically commented that it is important that he has a holiday for Christian festivals!But I don't care cos I'm almost there and some sort of a return to normality is so close on the horizon! I will fill in my next and last blog entry around the 21st as a blog is not for life although it has got me through a very difficult period in my life and thanks to everyone who has bothered reading it. It has felt lovely knowing that friends and family have been able to have up to date info so easily and the hundreds of visitor hits have let me know that you're all out there gunning for me! I'll probably leave my blog floating around the ether for a while in case its helpful to anyone else, but I think that nearly 9 months of the Adventures of Pamazon is enough for most folks, no matter how caring and concerned! This week has been Ok as I've felt quite well and I've done lots,... reflexology, Tai Chi, an art afternoon, coffee outings, an evening at the pub and last but not least my first visit last night to the Warrington Breast Care Support Group, that meets each month at the hospital postgrad. centre. I went with a friend from work and I was really impressed by the warm welcome extended to us. There was a talk by a local breast care nurse which was informative and uplifting. She said that Warrington was ranked 3rd in the country for its BC support and Clatterbridge was 2nd in Europe as a centre of excellence. Not sure where the stats came from but they sounded very reassuring. Also Herceptin is available for those needing it at the primary stage despite the £25000 per year cost! I haven't needed it but good old Warrington for sparing women the upset of having to fight for it. Tomorrow is the old man's birthday and so we're going to a local theatre to see a Ben Elton play, but Pete's real present is our trip to the Lakes at the end of the month which we're both looking forward to enormously even if I can't shin up the mountains with him. So until the 21st, Yours in a state of extreme anticipation, Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/04/07/2~710883/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-04-01:/2006/04/01/the_baltic_monkey~695002/PSRedford2006-04-01T20:05:45+02:002006-04-01T20:05:45+02:00 <p>Today Ben set off on his trip to Riga. Thanks to everyone who has sponsored him. He WILL contact you individually upon his return, but meanwhile you can check his progress by going to <a href="http://www.Bummit.co.uk">www.Bummit.co.uk</a> Go to 'On line tracker' and Ben is 'The Baltic Monkeys'group. Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/04/01/the_baltic_monkey~695002/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-31:/2006/03/31/3_again_and_i_want_to_hear_a_resounding_~689770/PSRedford2006-03-31T17:51:53+02:002006-03-31T17:51:53+02:00 <p>I've just returned from the hospital where I was unable to have my last chemo cycle , again due to an incredibly low neutrophil status....even by Dr. C's standards. [For those medically minded it was point 2] Ironically I feel fine and this morning I took a friend with a broken leg out for coffee, as you do, and I didn't need a mid day sleep or anything, so there you go, another week of taking it easy, avoiding infection, and generally trying to pass the time.I had my last consultation with Dr.C today [assuming my treatment is able to go ahead next friday] and as usual he was in one of his dismissive moods. I gave him a copy of the Suzanna Olivier book that I have found so helpful and he looked like it would be fairly low on his reading list and so I suggested he pass it on to his wife. Then he looked at Suzanna's comments on avoiding alcohol and said he didn't see any problem atall with drinking whilst on chemo as there is so much rubbish talked about the effects of chemo! I also asked about using hair dyes etc. and he said fire away as soon as I want, where as I understood from other people in my situation that you need to wait 6 months before using anything other than mild shampoo! I now have to see my GP about starting Tamoxifen in about a month's time and I will have a check up with Dr.C. in a year's time. I also have a check up appointment with the oncology surgeon in September.I have been warned about the feelings of anti climax upon finishing chemo and the feeling that after such frequent monitoring you are left to get on with your life whilst still feeling very vulnerable. With this in mind, more or less the whole of May is taken up with holiday plans for the Lake District and South Wales. If I'm going to feel miserable at least it will be in beautiful surroundings with Pete and good friends! love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/31/3_again_and_i_want_to_hear_a_resounding_~689770/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-24:/2006/03/24/3~671255/PSRedford2006-03-24T13:27:51+01:002006-03-25T12:46:02+01:00 <p>You've no idea how good it feels writing such a small number in the title space! I get very tired, I have red circles round my eyes and my hair isn't growing anywhere near fast enough,but I feel well enough to do most things, I go out every day, and despite eating loads I seem to be maintaining a newly svelt shape...just let me wipe the peanut butter off the keyboard! Beccy came home last night for her PADI course and Ben comes home tonight to collect his passport, back pack and tent ready to hitch hike to Latvia next weekend. I haven't got anything special planned for next week, but I'm just grateful that the days are passing by so relatively easily. Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/24/3~671255/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-19:/2006/03/19/fertility_cycle~657758/PSRedford2006-03-19T14:14:08+01:002006-03-19T14:14:08+01:00 <p>The totally uncontrolled adverts that appear with my blog have often been most unwelcome but the present one takes the biscuit! Thankyou dear 'observant of Norwich' for pointing out the Fertility Cycle Ad which has nothing whatsoever to do with my little old trike! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/fertility_cycle~657758/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-17:/2006/03/17/4~652075/PSRedford2006-03-17T15:47:58+01:002006-03-17T15:47:58+01:00 <p>I was just about to write my blog when some gorgeous flowers were delivered, curtesy of Pete's work....they have been so thoughtful. This is the 3rd bouquet that we've had from them plus M and S vouchers and donations to Cancer Research. 'Other employers' could learn a thing or two here! This week has been very much R and R most of the time.[Radio 4 and Reading] After a busy w/e I was very tired earlier in the week although I'm not too bad now and hope to go to a lecture at Daresbury Labs this evening. It'll probably go right over my head but I'll try to look intelligent and test out my 'chemo brain'.[This condition actually exists and so it looks like I may now have an excuse for forgetting things!]All for now, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/17/4~652075/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-10:/2006/03/10/5~630904/PSRedford2006-03-10T17:54:59+01:002006-03-10T17:57:19+01:00 <p>Just got back from my 2nd chemo injection of this my 7th cycle, so another week of tablets and then just one more complete cycle.[2 injections and 14 days tablets...keep up, I know its complicated!]If all goes according to plan I'll take my last tablet on 14th April. [Good Friday!] Then its the convalescence back to 'a pre chemo hammered state', although it looks like I'll be on 5 years of Tamoxifen to block those naughty oestrogens. So full on menopausal symptoms here I come. Last week I felt fine although the taste thing has returned....maybe its slightly better with the zinc tablets!? I've found that eating soft licorice, given to me by a friend to try, helps to clear the horrible chemical taste that I get in my mouth. Doesn't do a lot for the colour of my teeth but hey maybe they detract from the red blotches I seem to have developed on my face....like with the spotty legs, no one seems to know what they are but I'm hopeful that they'll recede at the end of my chemo. On the hair front you'll be pleased to know that for the first time this morning I shampooed my quater inch mane and whilst in 'certain circles' I could now go bare headed, I don't think that Booths at Knutsford is quite ready for me yet. I've got a busy few days ahead with a couple of theatre trips, [Richard Alston and Blazing Fiddles plus a curry night]and so I'll have to work hard at pacing myself, but as always the distractions are welcome. Although I'll have to extricate myself from the Ian Rankin books that I have been kindly lent and to which I appear to have become addicted! By the way, Beccy and Pete really enjoyed their 1st PADI course last night and so I'm not the only one who's tired today! All for now, Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/10/5~630904/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-03:/2006/03/03/later~610242/PSRedford2006-03-03T19:13:00+01:002006-03-10T17:58:00+01:00 <p>Yes! I've started my 7th chemo cycle. Blood test results all fine and no trouble finding a vein to give me my injection. Irony of ironies, Dr. C. said that he would have given me my chemo last week as I felt OK but his standin was being cautious.So was this supposed to make me feel better?!? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/03/later~610242/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-03-03:/2006/03/03/6~609377/PSRedford2006-03-03T14:28:31+01:002006-03-03T14:28:31+01:00 <p>Just got back from a lovely walk with Chas down The Bongs [Wooded, stream walk. Feeds into the Dam] The ground is really hard and there's an icey covering everywhere, very pretty. Hopefully I'll be starting cycle 7 of my chemo this afternoon if my neutrophils are behaving. If I don't start I'll do a little angry supplement to this entry! I'm feeling very well today, not even particularly tired and I have had a great week. On monday I went to the Linda McCartney centre at Liverpool hospital for a 'Look Good, Feel Better' afternoon arranged by the cosmetics industry for women going through chemo. I've never really considered how to do my makeup since I read Jackie magazine and over the years I've just got by with a minimalist approach based on what sufficed back in the 70's! For 2 hours,'glamorous women from various posh cosmetics houses instructed me and about 10 others on how to slap on the products. Very insightful! I'm sure that I won't start spending 15mins.every morning putting on a 'face' but the bag of goodies we got was brilliant and would be worth well over £100! Tuesday I had lunch with a couple of friends from work, who are a little ahead of me on 'the journey'we're travelling and so most welcome company, followed by a rummage through the new Per Una range at M and S. Wednesday was Tai Chi, which I'm enjoying, although I look forward to returning to Yoga as a preference. In the evening was the book group that I attend, which is always good fun. Then thursday I had my acupuncture session followed by a lovely evening out at a local restaurant and the Fairport concert. So all in all the casual observer may be lead to believe that I'm really enjoying myself, off work and on permanent jollies! In truth I'm making the best of my situation when I can, which should be everyone's recipe for life as none of us know how long or short its going to be. Another development this week has been that Beccy and Pete have signed up for a 5 week PADI course [Open Water Diving]at our local leisure centre. They've both been keen to do it for ages and I'm so pleased that it will provide a welcome distraction for them from my situation. Right,time for some lunch before my taste buds get hammered again....all for now, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/03/03/6~609377/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-02-24:/2006/02/24/7_again~590343/PSRedford2006-02-24T19:48:58+01:002006-03-10T17:59:29+01:00 <p>I'm fed up to put it mildly! After hanging around the hospital for what has felt like most of the afternoon, I've been sent away due to my low 'neut' status without treatment. This means more blood tests again next week to see if my chemo can recommence on the 3rd of march. I also have a little blister on my left hand which isn't healing and so I have to take 5 days of antibiotics. The blister was from a casserole dish that I was taking out of the oven and so I'm definitely not doing more than minimum cooking!....I wasn't doing much anyway! The frustrating thing is that I feel OK other than tired if I don't get regular little rests. Dr C's standin ,[Dr C is on half term holiday] very ominously said if I feel the least bit unwell I must ring Clatterbridge immediately and this really made me feel uneasy. Pete was very reassuring saying that this sort of thing no doubt happens all the time, but I so much want to finish my chemo treatment! On the brightside I went to see Matthew Bourne's Edward Scissorhands last night which was an excellent production albeit not as good as his Swan Lake and next week I'm looking forward to seeing good old Fairport, so lots of distractions there. We've also got a good friend from Oz visiting Lymm this w/e which will be nice as it'll be quite a sociable few days and again a good distraction. Fingers crossed for next week, Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/02/24/7_again~590343/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-02-17:/2006/02/17/7~570526/PSRedford2006-02-17T18:14:57+01:002006-02-19T20:08:01+01:00 <p>Started off the week feeling very tired and have ended it feeling quite tired, but this just means I have to pace myself more than usual, not that I am permanently horizontal! I seem to be doing lots of cinema/theatre type things as this requires little effort and is excellent escapism. Saw the standup comedienne,Jo Caulfield last saturday night, went to Memoirs of a Geisha last night and off to Brokeback Mountain tomorrow night. Its lucky we live near so many good entertainment venues.Had lunch with Ben last sunday and Beccy also came over to Sheffield with us...so a rare family get together.Ben is full of his latest venture which is the university fund raising 'Bummit to the Baltic'. In small groups of 2 or 3, students sign up to make the journey from Sheffield to Riga in Latvia spending no more than £15, setting off on April 1st and arriving a week later.They have to raise at least £100 in sponsorship, all of which goes to a children's home in Riga. Anyone kind enough to sponsor him can send him contributions to this home address.[Cheques made out to Ben] This some how seems a bit more worthy than the dreaded Scout Jamboree in Chile, which scarred us all for life on the fund raising front! Still rather Ben than I, home comforts seem to be a very high priority these days and the idea of sleeping and eating rough holds no attractions what so ever! On that happy note,I'll go and make tea. Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/7~570526/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-02-10:/2006/02/10/8~551737/PSRedford2006-02-10T14:10:20+01:002006-02-10T14:10:20+01:00 <p>A fairly uneventful week, but much less pressured than previous weeks. Saw the brilliant Johnny Cash film last saturday, restarted Tai Chi and acupuncture,took Charlie for lots of very pleasant walks round the Dam and met up with local friends for various liquid substances. My taste is a little better but I've still been having to resort to things like Coke, Ribena and Marmite to keep up my liquid intake...I'd usually never drink these things but they seem to over ride the awful taste that I get in my mouth. Not sure if the zinc tablets are doing anything but I'll keep persevering. Hope to go over to Sheffield to see Ben on sunday. We'll go out for sunday lunch to ensure that he gets at least one decent meal in the term. I'm collecting Beccy from Manchester this afternoon as she is coming home for the weekend and that's about it really. I feel reasonably OK considering and I just keep focusing on my spring reprieve from the massive chemical overload that I am undergoing. Oh yes and on the hair front, I now sport a little furry head. I'm not brave enough for public exposure but if I was much younger it could almost pass as trendy! Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/02/10/8~551737/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-02-03:/2006/02/03/9~531791/PSRedford2006-02-03T18:33:55+01:002006-02-03T18:33:55+01:00 <p>Yesterday I finished my radiotherapy,Yes! So many hospital visits took over my life, but the Clatterbridge ones are finished and a good friend and I had a little celebratory meal at the brilliant Craft centre in the next village to Clatterbridge, so there you go,I wouldn't have known about the place without my radiotherapy visits! My skin in the targeted area seems to have survived reasonably well and I think that this may be due to some special Aloe Vera gell that I sent away for, but I will have to always care for that area and never let it get sun burnt...so no more naturist beaches. I'd sort of accepted that anyway! Today I went for chemo 2 of my current round and there was the usual stressful 'hunt the vein'scenario. I mentioned my awful taste problem to the nurse and she suggested zinc tablets and so there's another tablet to add to my daily intake, but worth a try if it helps. I'll let you know, Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/02/03/9~531791/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-01-27:/2006/01/27/new_count_down~510570/PSRedford2006-01-27T13:58:36+01:002006-03-10T18:01:43+01:00 <p>I'm hanging around waiting to go and see Dr C. and hopefully to restart my chemo this afternoon. This will mean that I now should have 10 fridays until my last chemo injection and so I thought that I'd start a 10,9,8 count down, which pschologically should help the weeks to pass! I restarted my radiotherapy on monday of this week and have been backwards and forwards to Clatterbridge 4 times. I have 4 more sessions next week and then that's finished. The actual radiotherapy has not been too bad, other than the machines constantly breaking down and lots of delays. The company of friends and family has been welcome and I have got to know other women in my position also receiving treatment. Meeting very young women with young children is very sobering and I chatted with one woman in a similar situation to myself who said that she'd had to work full time all through her treatments to pay the bills. This makes me feel very privileged as I have not had to work or worry about money and I've been able to rest as much as I have needed to, which has been a lot! My taste buds have been a bit better this week and I've enjoyed a couple of meals out, one at a good friend's locally and one at the pub where Beccy has been working out of term time for the last 6 months. 'The rash' is much less obvious but this week's little treat has been tooth ache. I went to the dentist and he said I'd got a gum infection and so I'm now on 3 days antibiotics. Chemo makes your mouth really vulnerable to allsorts of problems and you have to work really hard at oral hygiene, constantly flossing , brushing and using non alcohol mouth washes.This morning I've just seen Beccy and her friend off to Centre Parcs for a long weekend. Pete and I should have been going to our annual get together with half a dozen or so other families from our Nottingham days, but as I'm not up to such extensive jollies just now, Beccy 'kindly' offered to use our place. I'm not bitter and I'm sure that there'll be something really good on TV this weekend! I'll now go and have a bite of lunch as it'll probably be the last meal I'll be able to taste properly for a couple of weeks. All for now, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/01/27/new_count_down~510570/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-01-20:/2006/01/20/16_down_and_mystery_rash_halts_progress~490116/PSRedford2006-01-20T18:29:52+01:002006-01-20T18:29:52+01:00 <p>Last sunday I noticed a very odd rash appearing on my upper legs[I'm sure, nothing to do with visit from North Wales friends, previous evening!] On tuesday I had an appointment with the radiotherapy oncologist to check my progress. She and a colleague had never seen anything like my rash before and thought it worthy of a medical text book colour illustration. Blood tests were done and I was prescribed Acyclovir tablets for a week. By thursday my blood test results returned and my radiotherapy was put on hold due to low 'neut' status.Meanwhile my rash has spread and if spotty tights were fashionable I'd be made.Today I saw my chemo oncologist, who also had never seen anything like my rash before, and as I am feeling off colour as well, he decided to defer my treatment for another week. On monday I am to go back to Clatterbridge and get more blood checks done to see if my radiotherapy can resume. Needless to say I am not too impressed by these developments but am hopeful that my rash will subside and not spread up to my face or I will look like some poorly cartoon character out of the Beano. Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/01/20/16_down_and_mystery_rash_halts_progress~490116/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-01-13:/2006/01/13/15_down~467321/PSRedford2006-01-13T15:59:51+01:002006-03-10T18:03:12+01:00 <p>I've just returned from my 4th radiotherapy session this week at Clatterbridge and so far so good, although I understand that the side effects[tiredness and sunburn type soreness are cumulative.] Eleven more sessions to go and by the end of my treatment I will have travelled nearly 1000miles. Good to know that I will have lots of company and help with driving. The treatment is very straight forward and quick. You lay on the treatment bed and are positioned very precisely so that the rays target the area under treatment. You are told not to move atall, which is a bit scary as I keep envisaging some unforseen involuntary twitch occuring!My radiotherapy nurse is a very pleasant young man with a lovely Liverpool accent. [Similar age to Ben I imagine] Today I noticed that he was Mr. June on the Clatterbridge Calander Girls type Calender and so as I joked with him about it I felt that it evened the field a little as needless to say it doesn't help to feel too coy when having to bare all for treatments every day for 15 days in total! I'm generally feeling quite well at present and food is much more palatable than it has been. I am pacing myself very carefully as this seems to be how I will best get through this very demanding month. Oh yes one other thing, there are signs of my hair returning. I can't tell you how elated I feel about this. In fact I feel really drawn to offering my services to support women going through the hair experience in future, as over the months I have learnt so much about coping with the situation and still feeling that you can face the world with confidence. On that happy note....love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/01/13/15_down~467321/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2006-01-06:/2006/01/06/14_down~447322/PSRedford2006-01-06T23:42:02+01:002006-01-06T23:42:02+01:00 <p>The first week of 2006 has been fairly quiet. The highlight was a trip to Blundellsands, just north of Liverpool and our nearest seaside, albeit with views of the docks. Pete and I went for a long walk by the sand dunes and to see the Antony Gormley installation.[Angel of the North fame] 100 lifesize statues of the artist are on the beach up to 3 kms out to sea and as the tide goes out they are revealed looking towards the horizon. Well worth a visit. This w/e Ben returns to Sheffield and next tuesday I start my radiotherapy. Today I finished the 14 days of chemo tablets and I am told that my lowest white cell count is at 14 to 20 days. At 28 days the cycle starts again, 3 more times. I have been quite tired at times and I do have to pace myself. The horrible taste in my mouth has also been very persistent. I recently described it as being like having licked about 100 envelopes and not being able to get rid of the taste of the glue. Maybe it will ease off over the next couple of weeks. Otherwise, I'm OK and I've calculated that my last chemo tablet will be on the 31st of march. So whatever my new normality will be starts on April 1st...hmmmm. Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2006/01/06/14_down~447322/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-12-31:/2005/12/31/13_down_and_lets_hope_that_its_a_crackin~429771/PSRedford2005-12-31T16:54:34+01:002005-12-31T16:54:34+01:00 <p>I have just had a call from friends in Oz who inform me that so far 2006 is good, so as we anticipate bringing in the New Year that's reassuring news. Having said that they have just spent the day basking in temperatures around 100 degrees! So what of the last week? Well, not the best Christmas on record chez Redford, making me wonder why we all insist on refering to it as 'Merry',and I recall 5 years ago spending Christmas at Burnley general hospital where my mum was very ill and 10 years ago in Warrington general hospital with a broken leg.[Freak sledging accident!]Is this some spooky 5 year cycle? For the last week Pete has had a stinking cold and interestingly I have had to try and avoid 'contact' with him, due to my risk of picking up infections whilst my white cell count is low! He is now feeling much better, just in time to return to work on tuesday. On friday I had my second session of chemo which made me very tired. Then today I had a broken tooth which meant a trip to the emergency dentist in town. My only consolation being that it was near to the Monsoon sale where I was able to summon up enough energy to hoover up a few bargains.This may not have been possible if dear old Greenpeace had had their way.My monthly direct debit had two zeros added to it by mistake, completely emptying my bank account for 5 days. Thank goodness for credit cards! So as 2005 draws to an end I'm hoping for better things in 2006 and I will make every effort to bring in the New Year enthusiastically and optimistically with our lovely local buddies this evening...a little late afternoon sleep should bolster my energy levels sufficiently to keep me going until after midnight! So thankyou to all friends and family far and near who have been so supportive over the last rollercoaster 5 months,because without you my journey would have been much harder and at times completely overwhelming. I'm now more or less half way through my chemotherapy and hopefully on the down hill slope. Thanks also to friends who have offered to help with my trips to and from Clatterbridge, for radiotherapy, during january, [last but one blog]I'll be in contact to sort out dates next week. Have a good night tonight and all the very best for us all in 2006. Much love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/12/31/13_down_and_lets_hope_that_its_a_crackin~429771/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-12-23:/2005/12/23/12_down_and_a_happy_chemo_crimble_to_one~411177/PSRedford2005-12-23T17:39:44+01:002006-03-10T18:05:38+01:00 <p>I've just got back from hospital where true to their word all the staff were in fancy dress.A nurse dressed as a scarecrow[!] administered my chemo,whilst Father Christmas was next to us,rather unsuccessfully trying to find the vein in a lady's hand!! Dr. C. was more soberly dressed but quite happy to join in the Christmas spirit when presented with a bottle of chateau bottled plonk. The interesting titbit today from him was that he tries to eat all organic food as he considers that some of the food we eat can do us more damage than the short bouts of chemo that he administers! Also of interest today was that my white cell count was up. Could this be a result of my acupuncture treatments? Nice thought. So I now await the impact of my new chemotherapy regime. Will I manage to do the Christmas and New Year thing before feeling rough? My white cell count is scheduled to drop between days 14 and 20 so that should get me through to early january. Fingers crossed. Last week was a good week and I did manage to do loads, a couple of nights out, a lovely facial from my God daughter, a trip to the dreaded Trafford Center and all the last minute Christmas shopping, including food. Beccy and I even managed to go to the local Unitarian church carol service, last sunday, so I can now completely relax and do as little or as much as I am able to do. Pete has now finished work until after the New year and Beccy and Ben will be around for at least the next couple of weeks, although they are both trying to work and earn some much needed cash. However in between their frequent comings and goings its lovely to have them around. So here's hoping that you all have a good holiday and a very happy Christmas, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/12/23/12_down_and_a_happy_chemo_crimble_to_one~411177/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-12-18:/2005/12/18/my_first_trip_to_clatterbridge~396851/PSRedford2005-12-18T18:58:31+01:002005-12-18T18:58:31+01:00 <p>On friday I went over to Clatterbridge for my radiotherapy planning session. Clatterbridge is one of those places every one in the North West has heard of but everyone hopes that they won't have to visit! It was infact an easy journey, with easy parking and inside it felt bright and airy with a friendly atmosphere. There was even a school choir belting out Festive cheer especially for my visit. There was also a little library run by the Macmillan nurses where I found myself borrowing books which I should resist as this does not make good Christmas reading! My Planning session was straight forward and so I now know the dates and times I need to attend in the New Year.If any local friends want to take me,let me know any dates that suit you. I imagine that some of the early dates I'll be OK on my own and also Beccy will be around to help out. The dates and times of my appointments are as follows...Tues 10th Jan 1pm, Wed 11th 12 30pm, Thurs 12th 12 45pm, Fri 13th 12 15pm, Mon 16th 11am, Tues 17th 3 15pm, Wed 18th 11 45am, Thurs 19th 10 30am, Mon 23rd 11 45am, Tues 24th 3 pm, Wed 25th 11 35am, Thurs 26th 11 45am, Mon 30th 11 45am, Tues 31st 3pm, Wed 1st Feb 11 45am, and that is it! On my way back from Clatterbridge I couldn't resist swinging into Cheshire Oaks where I bought a few extra bits including some size 10 Monsoon jeans so that I don't have to go through Christmas looking like Charlie Chaplin! This weekend has been fine. We were invited out for a lovely meal on saturday night and today we've lit the fire for the first time this year and the house is lovely and cosy. Beccy is home and Ben will be back on tuesday.It all feels very Christmasy...shame about the 23rd! Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/12/18/my_first_trip_to_clatterbridge~396851/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-12-14:/2005/12/14/11_down~386130/PSRedford2005-12-14T16:00:16+01:002005-12-14T16:00:16+01:00 <p>The thing about feeling awful is how wonderful it is to feel better! My taste buds are still a bit weird [I say no to chocolate!] but otherwise I have felt quite well since the begining of the week. I am more tired than I would be normally but that is relatively minor as a concern. On sunday we managed to go over to Grantham to see Pete's sister and family, plus some friends who also live in Grantham. Pete's sister cooked a lovely big sunday lunch, which was the first meal I'd really enjoyed in over a week. Tomorrow I'm hoping to finish off some bits of pre Christmas shopping and on friday I have an appointment at Clatterbridge to plan my radiotherapy in January.[Can't wait] Due to all the eating hassles I have lost about a stone in weight, but as long as I don't loose any more that's no bad thing. My eye brows and eye lashes are just about hanging on in there and maybe in the New year my hair will start growing back. This weekend Beccy and Ben will be coming home for Christmas and so my quiet little life will be coming to an end for a few weeks. All for now, love Pam </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/12/14/11_down~386130/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-12-08:/2005/12/08/10_down~371097/PSRedford2005-12-08T18:54:33+01:002005-12-08T19:03:09+01:00 <p>I've just returned from another acupuncture session and so I will squeeze in a quick blog before tea! This has been a well and truly horrible week so far! The weekend after my treatment went reasonably well and I seemed OK on monday but since tuesday I have felt awful. Very tired, incredibly irritable, a sore throat and with a taste in my mouth that makes eating a complete trial. I have really not wanted to do anything atall other than lie around listening to Radio 4 and sleep! This is not good, although very much more what I imagined chemotherapy may be like. My only consolation is that I will not be having any more Epirubicin.....if I was I may be inclined to pull the drip out when the nurse turns her back on 23rd Dec.and stick it in a nearby plant pot! 'Extremely Fed Up of Lymm' </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/12/08/10_down~371097/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-12-02:/2005/12/02/9_down~355541/PSRedford2005-12-02T18:48:10+01:002006-03-10T18:08:50+01:00 <p>I'm writing this just having returned from my 4th and final Epirubicin chemo. The oncologist seems to think that I'm doing quite well so far and I'm feeling a sense of relief that I've got this far relatively unscathed. My next treatment is the 23rd of December when I will start CMF chemo which is injections 2 consecutive fridays with 14 days of tablets to be taken alongside, followed by 2 weeks off, and then start again. This goes on for 16 weeks taking me through to late March and the best spring imaginable!The oncology staff inform me that they will be in fancy dress on the 23rd of December [not Mr. C!]and so yet another surreal experience to add to my ever expanding list! This week has been a good week which got off to a bang with me not only getting to see Ben Elton [Very astute and witty fella]on friday night, but then going up to a friend's in the Lakes for a lovely day on the saturday. We went to a craft mill at Sedbergh and then had a go at making felt in the afternoon....very therapeutic! I've now had 2 acupuncture sessions which have been interesting. This has involved putting very fine needles mainly in my lower legs but also around my navel to try and boost my energy levels and help me to cope with the chemo. It hurts a little bit but its mainly anticipatory as the needles are moved around until you say that you can 'feel' them. I will need to go a few more times to assess the effectiveness but will report my findings! Last night I had my first Christmas outing to the local catering college for a very good meal which I really enjoyed....bit like the last supper as I now await the demise of my taste buds over coming days and associated throat reactions..... Hey Ho, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/12/02/9_down~355541/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-11-24:/2005/11/24/8_down~333863/PSRedford2005-11-24T14:00:20+01:002005-12-03T16:43:14+01:00 <p>Sadly I didn't make the Lakes last weekend as I felt too tired and eating was no fun. Happily Beccy and a friend were here, which was good company and on sunday Pete and I went over to Liverpool to see Ben as he was staying there with a friend that he met in Canada, for the weekend.As I'm now feeling lots better [white cell count on the way up]I'm hopefully going to a friend's house in the Lakes for the day on saturday to do 'craft' things,which should be interesting! The pattern after my chemo seems to be 10 days of slow deterioration, bottoming the middle weekend, followed by 10 days of gradual improvement ready for the next chemo! There hasn't been a day gone by when I haven't ventured out and generally, so far, the treatment has been just about manageable. Tomorrow night we're going to see Ben Elton as part of Beccy's 23rd birthday celebrations and Ben is coming home for the weekend. He and Pete hope to give me a lift to the Lakes on saturday and go off walking for the day, weather willing....craft activities certainly won't interest them! I've now found a local acupuncturist [ vetted by my dear Nottingham friend] and I'm off there for a treatment this afternoon. It'll be interesting to see if there is an impact on my chemo side effects. All for now, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/11/24/8_down~333863/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-11-17:/2005/11/17/7_down~315695/PSRedford2005-11-17T18:26:44+01:002005-12-03T16:44:51+01:00 <p>Today started really well as there were a couple of kingfishers on the lake this morning and seeing them always cheers me up. This is my dodgy week as I had my chemo last friday and day 6 or 7 my white cell count takes a nose dive for a few days. So I'm prone to picking up infections and more tired than usual...also the horrible taste thing is very prevalent.I had my usual little list of questions for the oncologist who must sigh when he sees me as with nearly 40 people to get through at his friday Warrington clinic there's no time for small talk! I asked about doing yoga and having acupuncture whilst on chemo and he felt that there was no problem with either although there is a lot of controversy around about both. I seem to be settling into a self help routine of sorts in that I have chosen to take some supplements, I've cut right back on dairy foods, I have weekly reflexology and a Tia Chi lesson and if I could find an experienced acupuncturist locally I'd have sessions there too.If only my good friend who is an acupuncturist in Nottingham, lived closer! I'll return to my yoga when I can be inverted without fear of loosing head cover. Recently I came across a brilliant free publication from Breakthrough outling risk factors associated with breast cancer. I know that a lot of female friends will be interested in this [although 1 in a 100 cases are male] and so if you wish to order it go through to the Breakthrough information line on 08080 100 200 or download from <a href="http://www.breakthrough.org.uk">www.breakthrough.org.uk</a> This weekend I'm hoping to get to the Lakes for a night with some friends.I'll feel really pleased if I can make it, just like I did last w/e when I went to an urban design conference with Beccy and really enjoyed the mental stimulation. Its a thin line between pushing myself to be active and overdoing it but I am so lucky not to have any extraneous pressures on me. All for now, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/11/17/7_down~315695/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-11-10:/2005/11/10/6_down~297631/PSRedford2005-11-10T17:25:44+01:002005-11-10T17:25:44+01:00 <p>Went to the Lowry saturday night and out to lunch with friends on sunday.....its amazing how wonderful it feels to do normal things.This week I've been out and about every day but I have felt quite tired at times and so I've had little day time sleeps whenever the need has arisen. Tomorrow chemo number 3 looms and so Pete and I are doing 'the big shop'tonight in case I don't feel much like shopping next week. I saw people from work for lunch today which was lovely but I do feel like I'm inhabiting a parallel universe....I suppose that I am really. I think that if I didn't keep seeing people and doing things I could get a very warped view of life. I've been thinking that doing this blog is a bit like sending messages off to sea in a bottle....I never know who's going to read them, if anyone! Perhaps if you do look at my blog occasionally you can indulge me during next month and just send a Merry Christmas tag or something...I can't guarantee that I'll have one as I think that 'they' intend to give me chemo on the 23rd and 30th of December, but I'll know that the thought's there! All for now, love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/11/10/6_down~297631/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-11-03:/2005/11/03/5_down~281398/PSRedford2005-11-03T20:51:47+01:002005-11-03T20:51:47+01:00 <p>This week I've started to feel more my old self. I still get tired but my taste buds are returning which is very gratifying. I've been fairly busy and enjoyed seeing friends and occasional retail therapy....this may have to be more controlled after Christmas when I drop to half salary! Today Beccy and I went into Manchester and I got another wig! This is more like my hair when it was cut short prior to it falling out and so this is more like it might be when it returns. Its a shade or two lighter than my old colour, so a little kinder to the more mature complexion and maybe nearer to any new colour when it grows back. [It often grows back a different colour I believe] Anyhow maybe you'll see it soon! We also tried to get some more ear piercings for Beccy as her birthday is fast approaching.[Can't believe that she's nearly 23!] We went to the Selfridges Body Piercing Parlour and you wouldn't believe what you can have pierced! Tomorrow we're off to Knutsford for pedicures....well it is her reading week from uni so she isn't missing any lectures! Can't think of much other news and so I'm hoping for a good week before my next chemo on the 11th. All love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/5_down~281398/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-10-27:/2005/10/27/4_down~265832/PSRedford2005-10-27T21:01:01+02:002005-10-27T21:56:25+02:00 <p>For the first time ever I'm writing this because I said I would and not because I'm keen to communicate! I've been feeling tired all day and I hate not being able to taste food properly, but otherwise I've had quite a good week since my second chemo last friday. Pete and I managed to have lunch out before the hospital appointment and so there was some acknowledgement of our 27th wedding anniversary....not as much as there will be next year as he says he's going to take me back to Venice, and I won't forget that one in a hurry. The oncologist excelled himself again at our pre chemo chat by saying that there is a lot of bollocks talked about supplements etc. for people on chemo, but there again the more I read the more I think that he may be right. I may cope with this 6 months better if I just settle down to a nice restful lifestyle, with a good diet and less reading and analysing! I'm going out walking every day , hail or shine, I've started Tai Chi on wednesday mornings and I'm up for outings to theatres, cinemas, garden centres, shops etc. when opportunities arise. I've not once had to resort to day time TV and generally I feel much better for being active and seeing people. So, so far so good.....only another 22 weeks to go....if you say it quickly I'm sure it'll whizz by! Much love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/10/27/4_down~265832/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:pamazon.blog.co.uk,2005-10-20:/2005/10/20/a_bit_later~248784/PSRedford2005-10-20T18:28:09+02:002005-10-20T18:28:09+02:00 <p>Just thought that I'd report that I had an outing in my wig this lunch time and there is obviously an art to wearing these things! I kept feeling that it was riding upwards and when I was walking along outside I felt like I wanted to hold it in place. Before I headed homewards I nipped to the loo only to glance in the mirror and witness that it had swivelled round about 45 degrees. I was mortified and I am now feeling like putting it in the bottom drawer and leaving it there! On a more positive note I have now found a really useful book that I would love anyone interested to read. Its called 'The Breast Cancer Prevention and Recovery Diet' by Suzannah Olivier and its proving a very useful reference guide for me, particularly in relation to supplements etc. Unlike many guides it doesn't take an extreme stance but it helps you to pick your way around the good and bad bits of life in the 21st century.Right, what am I going to wear on my head tonight?? Love Pam X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://pamazon.blog.co.uk/2005/10/20/a_bit_later~248784/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>