The story so far...

I took my final chemo tablets this am and had my last chemo injection late am. The nurse was lovely and wished me well. No trouble finding a vein and now my poor old veins can have a little rest from all the prodding and poking of the last 9 months. Nine months! What a helluva 9 months it has been but I've survived so far and I'm here to tell the tale. I do feel that this experience has had a life changing impact upon me and while to all intents and purposes I hope that 'normal life' will resume as soon as possible in many ways life will never quite be the same again! I will never take anything for granted, I will not sweat the small stuff and I will be forever grateful to family and friends who have supported me and I hope that if anyone else finds themselves in a similar position I will be around to support them. Who knows what lays ahead for any of us in life, all we can do is make the very best of what we've got, support each other when we can and leave a good footprint behind when we've gone. Love and best wishes to you all. Here endeth the blog!!!! CARPE DIEM Pam X

What a relief, I have just started my last chemo cycle, with 'neuts' over 2! I will now take chemo tablets for 14days and my last injection will be on the 21st April. It should have been 14th April but the young Asian nurse, injecting me today, sarcastically commented that it is important that he has a holiday for Christian festivals!But I don't care cos I'm almost there and some sort of a return to normality is so close on the horizon! I will fill in my next and last blog entry around the 21st as a blog is not for life although it has got me through a very difficult period in my life and thanks to everyone who has bothered reading it. It has felt lovely knowing that friends and family have been able to have up to date info so easily and the hundreds of visitor hits have let me know that you're all out there gunning for me! I'll probably leave my blog floating around the ether for a while in case its helpful to anyone else, but I think that nearly 9 months of the Adventures of Pamazon is enough for most folks, no matter how caring and concerned! This week has been Ok as I've felt quite well and I've done lots,... reflexology, Tai Chi, an art afternoon, coffee outings, an evening at the pub and last but not least my first visit last night to the Warrington Breast Care Support Group, that meets each month at the hospital postgrad. centre. I went with a friend from work and I was really impressed by the warm welcome extended to us. There was a talk by a local breast care nurse which was informative and uplifting. She said that Warrington was ranked 3rd in the country for its BC support and Clatterbridge was 2nd in Europe as a centre of excellence. Not sure where the stats came from but they sounded very reassuring. Also Herceptin is available for those needing it at the primary stage despite the £25000 per year cost! I haven't needed it but good old Warrington for sparing women the upset of having to fight for it. Tomorrow is the old man's birthday and so we're going to a local theatre to see a Ben Elton play, but Pete's real present is our trip to the Lakes at the end of the month which we're both looking forward to enormously even if I can't shin up the mountains with him. So until the 21st, Yours in a state of extreme anticipation, Pam X

Today Ben set off on his trip to Riga. Thanks to everyone who has sponsored him. He WILL contact you individually upon his return, but meanwhile you can check his progress by going to www.Bummit.co.uk Go to 'On line tracker' and Ben is 'The Baltic Monkeys'group. Pam X

I've just returned from the hospital where I was unable to have my last chemo cycle , again due to an incredibly low neutrophil status....even by Dr. C's standards. [For those medically minded it was point 2] Ironically I feel fine and this morning I took a friend with a broken leg out for coffee, as you do, and I didn't need a mid day sleep or anything, so there you go, another week of taking it easy, avoiding infection, and generally trying to pass the time.I had my last consultation with Dr.C today [assuming my treatment is able to go ahead next friday] and as usual he was in one of his dismissive moods. I gave him a copy of the Suzanna Olivier book that I have found so helpful and he looked like it would be fairly low on his reading list and so I suggested he pass it on to his wife. Then he looked at Suzanna's comments on avoiding alcohol and said he didn't see any problem atall with drinking whilst on chemo as there is so much rubbish talked about the effects of chemo! I also asked about using hair dyes etc. and he said fire away as soon as I want, where as I understood from other people in my situation that you need to wait 6 months before using anything other than mild shampoo! I now have to see my GP about starting Tamoxifen in about a month's time and I will have a check up with Dr.C. in a year's time. I also have a check up appointment with the oncology surgeon in September.I have been warned about the feelings of anti climax upon finishing chemo and the feeling that after such frequent monitoring you are left to get on with your life whilst still feeling very vulnerable. With this in mind, more or less the whole of May is taken up with holiday plans for the Lake District and South Wales. If I'm going to feel miserable at least it will be in beautiful surroundings with Pete and good friends! love Pam X

You've no idea how good it feels writing such a small number in the title space! I get very tired, I have red circles round my eyes and my hair isn't growing anywhere near fast enough,but I feel well enough to do most things, I go out every day, and despite eating loads I seem to be maintaining a newly svelt shape...just let me wipe the peanut butter off the keyboard! Beccy came home last night for her PADI course and Ben comes home tonight to collect his passport, back pack and tent ready to hitch hike to Latvia next weekend. I haven't got anything special planned for next week, but I'm just grateful that the days are passing by so relatively easily. Love Pam X